Do we "choose" our lives before we're born?

Q: What is your thought about "we choose our incarnations," that we took this birth by choice?

A: I love this question because I know exactly what you mean. You hear this a lot in different spiritual communities—"you chose this birth."

Okay so let's look at it like this...

Let's imagine, before you were born, your cosmic soul was standing in line at the pre-incarnation DMV, talking to some mystical cigarette smoking bureaucrat who’s like, “Uhhh... ok hun... here are your options: you can be born into late capitalism in America, or you could incarnate on a planet where everyone is a hot dog.”

And for reasons ENTIRELY beyond your current comprehension, you were like,

“You know what? Late capitalism sounds really exciting.”

But then you get here, and you hear me give this example, an you're probably like,

“Why the fuck would I choose this?”

But this is the thing you need to understand—you can't know why.

There’s no need to know why.

All you need to know is that you’re here.

And if you’re here, there’s some kind of evolutionary process at work.

From a yogic perspective, difficult circumstances are the fastest way to evolve. Maybe in the hot dog reality, it would have been harder to feel Ma, to feel God, because all you do there is sit around putting relish on yourself.

There’s no resistance, no difficulty—just endless bliss.

But back at the cosmic DMV, standing there as a ball of Divine bliss, you were like,

“Oh, a challenge? A perpetual rollercoaster of an incarnation? Every year things get worse and worse? HELL YES, brother, let’s fucking goooooooo.”

Now—I’m not saying the cosmic DMV is real.

I’m not saying the hot dog planet is real.

I’m barely even saying that this reality is as real as we think.

But this whole idea that we choose our incarnations?

It’s a story—a way to conceptualize why we’re here. It doesn’t have to be true, but a lot of people find solace in it.

Because if you believe “I chose this,” you become the author of your life.

You step out of victim consciousness and into self-authorship.

Now, if that idea doesn’t resonate with you, that’s totally fine. Every religious philosophy is a choice.

Do you want to believe this?

What’s the outcome of believing it?

Do you consent to that?

I cannot emphasize this enough: I don’t care what anyone thinks or believes. You can believe whatever you want.

But I do think the narrative of choosing our incarnations can be a helpful tool for taking responsibility for our experiences.

That being said—you don’t have to overlay this onto everyone.

People hear this and say, “Well, did everyone in Gaza choose that?”

I don’t fucking know.

But what did YOU choose?

What is YOUR birth?

I think most of us could become WAY more concerned with our own incarnations, rather than wondering about the incarnations of others. In fact, I honestly think it's a huge stumbling block to be overly concerned with the incarnations of others. Mostly because it's something the ego could use to justify taking no action on the spiritual path.

How often do you see that? For real.

People saying "it's privileged to be spiritual because bad things happen in the world."

It's so easy to fall for that. And SO detached from the actual history of how many spiritual traditions have evolved (in the MIDST of major societal suffering.) Don't fall for it.

So get concerned with the choice YOU made at the cosmic DMV.

At the end of the day, it's just you and God. Your birth, your choices, your experiences.

All of it.

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