Does chronic illness mean I’m not spiritually evolved?

Q: I struggle with chronic illness, and it often feels like my body is my enemy. How can I find peace when my body is constantly working against me?

A: I deeply understand that feeling—when your own body seems like an obstacle, something that holds you back rather than supports you. For many years, I lived with that same sense of betrayal, first through chronic pain from a back injury and later with my Crohn’s diagnosis. My body rarely felt like a safe place to rest. But classical tantra, particularly through my Guru’s example, showed me another way to relate to this experience.

One of the most profound teachings that helped me shift my perspective is "I am not this body; this body is not mine." At first, this might sound like a rejection of the body, but in Tantra, nothing is rejected—everything is woven into the spiritual process. This statement doesn’t mean denying the body or dissociating from it; rather, it’s an invitation to recognize that while you have a body, you are much more than just your physical form. You are the awareness that witnesses, the stillness beyond pain, the unchanging presence that remains even when the body fluctuates.

For me, chronic illness became a teacher in surrender—not in giving up, but in laying down the belief that things should be different. So much of our suffering comes not from the pain itself, but from resisting reality as it is. When I stopped fighting the fact of my illness and pain, I found something unexpected: the deep, unshakable radiance of the Self, untouched by physical limitations.

This doesn’t mean we don’t care for our bodies or seek healing where we can. It means we don’t let our physical condition define the totality of who we are. And paradoxically, when we stop resisting, when we stop believing that we must be pain-free to be at peace, we often experience more ease—because our energy is no longer caught in an endless battle against what is.

It’s not easy. But I promise, there is a way to live with illness without being consumed by it. There is a way to recognize the 10,000 brilliant suns burning within you, even in the midst of struggle. And in that recognition, there is a kind of freedom that no illness can take away.

I have a talk on patreon called "when pain becomes the teacher: chronic illness on the spiritual path" if you want to hear more about my experience with this stuff!

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