Q: I really, really, really struggle with the idea of having multiple romantic partners throughout my life. I did not grow up in a religious household so this is not related to religious trauma or anything like that. I just find it incredibly devastating that I could love this man with everything in my being, feel SO devoted and committed to him, share all of the most intimate and vulnerable parts of myself and my life with him, only to have to give it up and love someone else like that one day. It takes away that sacred quality of intimacy and vulnerability to me. But I'm having relationship problems with this man I love and I really don't know if they can be remedied. I guess I'm struggling with the thought that we don't truly have one soulmate. It also manifests as strong retroactive jealousy for me and I'm worried about that coming up in future relationships if this one I'm in does end. I'm really just struggling with these ideas surrounding love, marriage, commitment, devotion. Do you have any spiritual insight for me? Thank you :,)
A: The sacredness you feel about your current relationship is a testament to your capacity for deep, deep intimacy and devotion. Those are experiences (and dare I say, skills) that could tremendously benefit you on the spiritual path, if you're open to looking at it in that way.
From a more spiritual perspective, love is VAST, INFINITE, EXPANSIVE -- and can never be bound to one person or one experience. That's literally not how it works. However, from our very human vantage point, it often feels like there's just ONE PERSON who can make us feel that way. But love isn't static and unchanging; it evolves as we evolve. So, people come into our lives, people leave our lives. But that thread of love; which is embedded in everything; becomes accessible in different forms. You don't want to put confines on love. When you do that, you put confines on the essence of what you actually are.
It sounds like there might be a bit of clinging to the idea that love has to look a certain way to be meaningful. What if love, in its essence, is more about what it calls forth within you than about who you’re with? What if the sacredness is something you carry within yourself and bring into every relationship—whether with this man or with someone else?
What if that intimacy, sacredness, and devotion is a gift that you can shower on ALL OF LIFE? If you can learn to do that, your soul won't be bound to one person anymore. And even if you believe that's what you want, that's signing up for a lifetime of suffering. We're not destined to be bound to anything that dies. We're destined to contact the aspect of life that is Eternal.
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