Why does my connection to God feel blocked?

Q: I feel like my relationship with God is blocked. I'm reaching out more than ever. Can she hear me? Am I talking to her wrong? Or am I not listening right?

A: First, I want to honor you for even asking this question. It's kind of a vulnerable thing to share. You're really trying to get something right and it's simply not working... it's a tough place to be.

Let me start by saying this: there is no "wrong" way to talk to God. Your sincere reaching out is enough. God, the Divine Mother, sees your effort, your struggle, and your yearning, and She embraces it all with infinite love and compassion. Your problem is that you don't feel reciprocity... you're reaching out, but don't feel She's reaching back.

Sometimes her reaching back is appearing in the form of the events of your life... or even, in Her absence. That might seem like a scapegoat answer but I'm very serious. Let’s reframe this idea of feeling "blocked."

Grace, the felt sense of God, operates in ways we don’t always understand. Sometimes, it’s during these periods of disconnect or frustration that grace is working most profoundly. In Grace 101, I tell the story of the king and the merchant from the Devimahatmyam. Their suffering, darkness, betrayal and unanswered questions are exactly what led them onto the spiritual path. What felt like rejection or failure was actually Grace, nudging them to deeper awareness and clarity.

You might feel like God isn’t hearing you, but know this: She always hears you. She hears not just your words but your heart, your struggles, and your desires. Like a mother watching her toddler learn to ride their bike, she sees you trying, falling, getting back up. And she loves every moment of it—not in a twisted sadistic way, but in a sincere, adorable way. Your effort is sacred, even if it feels messy or imperfect. This is probably annoying to hear because you feel like you're spinning your wheels... but experiences of "concealment" are usually for our benefit.

When it comes to "listening," I’d invite you to think about how God reveals Herself and conceals Herself. Grace often moves through the quiet moments, the pauses, and even the frustrations. The Sufis say, "What today we mistake for a padlock keeping us out, tomorrow becomes the key that lets us in." Sometimes in order to let the new thing in, we need to stop fussing with the old thing. Put the hot coal down and go for a walk.

If you feel blocked, ask yourself: what might this moment of silence or absence be teaching me? Could it be an invitation to deepen, to let go of control, or to sit in stillness and simply be?

Listening can also be experienced through other senses... seeing what is happening in your immediate reality is a form of listening. Feeling with your body and tactile senses is also a form of listening. God is the power that allows your heart to keep beating... She is your heartbeat. How could She be far? She's right there, in your blood. Right now. Open yourself to that idea and see what happens.

The spiritual path is not about "getting it right." It’s about showing up, again and again, with an open heart.

Trust that even in this moment, when it feels like nothing is happening, She is holding you and leading you home. I can't tell you how many times I've worked with a mentee who started a call saying "nothing is happening" and by the end of the call we realize everything is happening. All that's needed is usually a perspective shift.

If you ever want to troubleshoot this in-depth, my books are open to you.

🌟 Want to dive deeper into your spirituality? Let's connect:

📧 Email: immanent.divinity@gmail.com

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I look forward to walking beside you! ✨