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Love someone you're astrologically incompatible with?

Updated: Jul 5

Q: Recently feel like I’ve found my person in life, but our astrology says we are going to keep having huge issues.

The issues they say are real things we talk about, but now that I’ve read it I’m scared I’ve made myself think that he might not be the one because astrology doesn’t say so.

Astrology was my way into god/spirituality so I do believe in it but am wanting to know if you think it’s something you can overcome on the spiritual path? X

A: Reading this, it sounds like "finding the one" is very meaningful to you. It's good that you know this about yourself; that self-knowledge is a good compass to lead you towards what you want.

However, in order to "overcome" this, you may want to ask yourself what it means to the find "the one."

Is "the one" someone you never have conflict or issues with? If so, do you currently believe that it's possible to be in a relationship with no issues or conflict? Is that what you're seeking?

Issues in a relationship aren't an indication that the relationship is bad. Even a well-matched couple will come up on snags because inherent in coupledom is the merging of two different bodies, identities, worldviews, and values. What the spiritual patch could provide you with is an opportunity to face these differences, and move towards equanimity and acceptance despite them.

When it comes to issues in a relationship, whether astrologically ordained or not, we need to take personal responsibility for our way of being in each conflict. How are your communication skills? What is your conflict style? Are you able to step back from your reactions, take a breath, and name what's happening with you? Perhaps part of your spiritual path is looking at your engagement with life, and how you can improve the way you turn towards conflict, for the sake of all beings.

Further, could being in an "issueless" relationship actually be an issue in itself? Allow me to explain.

When I hear someone in a relationship say "we never fight," I get curious. Why? Because everything is totally harmonious, or because one or both of you are "keeping the peace" or avoiding conflict entirely.

In my early 20s, I was in a relationship with someone for two years who I never fought with. But the reason why was because I was completely emotionally checked out of the relationship. We didn't fight because... I was barely there. Or, I would shove down my needs and feelings because I felt they didn't matter.

So, below the surface of "we never fight" is often a turbulent current of self-abandonment or fear.

To finally answer your question: yes, this can be overcome... if you choose to view your differences as an opportunity for growth, and gain the necessary skills to enter courageously into conflict. In my opinion, these are personal development skills that translate beautifully into the spiritual path.

Need help with your conflict or communication skills? Consider booking a consultation call with me to learn more about relationship coaching. 💘


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